


Home to You

by moonlilac



Category: VICTON (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, lots of kissing at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22122403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlilac/pseuds/moonlilac
Summary: Sebyung being dumb with feelings after Produce X 101 and Victon being the best wingmen, hypemen, and just men in general
Relationships: Choi Byungchan/Im Sejun
Comments: 16
Kudos: 163





	Home to You

It's strange.

They've been together -- not together together -- for so many years now that even being apart for a short amount of time feels, well, strange.

He came back to the dorms when they weren't filming. But he was always so tired -- him and Seungwoo both, and Sejun didn't have the heart to interrupt their sleep. Whenever they weren't resting, they were discussing stages he didn't know and people he didn't know.

Sejun wouldn't say that he felt jealous, per se. Just -- strange.

He thought things would go back to normal when Byungchan came back.

He thought they would have more time to talk when rooming situation changed and they became roommates -- he pretends not to see the knowing look Seungsik gives him.

He thought wrong.

Because all of a sudden, Byungchan has friends. Friends that aren't him, aren't them.

Which is terrible of him to say, but Sejun can't help it. He misses Byungchan. The Byungchan who smells like fresh laundry and happiness, the Byungchan who snuggles into his neck with a dopey smile, the Byungchan who climbs into his bed in the middle of the night even though Subin and Seungwoo are snoring away two beds away.

"I'm going to meet up with Sejin hyung," Byungchan calls out as he grabs a hat off the couch in the living room.

He's gone before Sejun can answer, the "Want to go grab something to eat?" on the tip of his tongue ultimately going unasked.

Subin comes out of the kitchen, a popsicle in his mouth, and sits down next to him. He rests his head against Sejun's shoulder in silent comfort.

Sejun's arm curls around him, his lips lifting up in a weak smile even as his heart drops.

It's always Jinhyuk or Sejin; Wooseok once when his schedule allowed some free time.

Sometimes Sejun wonders if he does it on purpose -- if Byungchan purposefully hangs out with people born in the same year as him, that aren't him, to rub it in Sejun's face. That he's been replaced, that he's not needed anymore.

But that's cruel. And Byungchan is anything but cruel.

So Sejun settles on observing. Mostly when Byungchan is asleep, which sounds creepy, and Sejun won't deny that it is. But it's the only time they're alone these days.

Byungchan has always been beautiful, but there's something about the way the moonlight shines on and erases all the worries from his face that makes him even more ethereal.

Byungchan smiles and giggles in his sleep. It's adorable and endearing, until Sejun remembers that he's not the reason for Byungchan's recent happiness.

Because Byungchan has been undeniably happy. And confident. And he's been shining so brightly in a way that has nothing to do with stage lights or camera flashes or even the current moonlight hitting his face.

Was Byungchan unhappy before? Does being with him make Byungchan unhappy?

Suddenly Sejun can't bear to be so close to Byungchan. Because even though they're only a few feet apart, Byungchan has never felt more far away. Even though Sejun could reach over right now, run his hand through soft locks or poke a finger into dimples that go as deep as his own, Byungchan feels a million miles away.

And the only way Sejun knows to deal with this sudden distance is to distance himself even more.

So he slips out of the dark room and closes the door behind him with a soft click. 

The flashing clock in the living room tells him that it's barely 5AM. Yet he's not surprised when, a few minutes later, a figure comes quietly out of a room down the hall.

Chan doesn't seem particularly surprised to see him either.

"Can't sleep?" He asks, taking a seat next to Sejun on the couch.

"Going to the practice rooms?" Sejun asks back, and smiles when Chan lifts up the gym bag that he's been carrying since their trainee days.

"It's not like you to be up so early," Chan notes, eyes inquisitive even as they're half covered by his long hair.

Sejun shrugs. "New era, new me?"

Chan just keeps staring though, and Sejun is reminded of how well they know each other -- of course Chan wouldn't believe his lie.

"I miss him?" Sejun tries again.

Chan snorts. "He's right there."

And Sejun almost laughs. Because somehow Chan figured out that he wasn't talking about Seungwoo, away and leading another team to success, but rather Byungchan, snoring just a door away.

"It's not that simple, hyung," Sejun sighs.

Chan hums and lets Sejun rest his head on his shoulder. Sometimes Sejun envies Chan and Seungsik, Hanse and Byungchan, for having a same-aged member to confide in. But Chan is only five months older than him, closer in age, really, than Chan and Seungsik are. Maybe that's why he has always felt comfortable sharing his feelings.

He's almost asleep when the door to his room opens again. He's so sluggish that it takes a second for him to focus on Byungchan, frozen in the doorway.

"Byungchanie?" He mumbles, lifting his head from Chan's shoulder.

It's still dark outside, and Byungchan looks impossibly tall in the shadows.

"I'm going to watch the sunrise with Jinhyuk hyung." Byungchan answers their unasked question after a pause.

Sejun looks away to hide the hurt on his face, but he doesn't miss the look in Byungchan's eyes. He thinks it mirrors exactly what he is feeling, but he doesn't dwell on it. After all, he's sleepy and confused, and there is no way Byungchan would feel hurt over anything Sejun does.

So he gets up, rubs the sleep out of his eyes, and starts for their now empty room. "Have fun."

He hears Chan sigh. Hears him tell Byungchan to _bundle up, it's chilly in the mornings_. And Sejun smiles a bitter smile -- that used to be his job, but he's grateful for Chan for stepping up to take it from him.

If Sejun thinks that Byungchan slams the door a little louder than usual, he blames it on the sensitivity of his ears in the quiet of the early morning.

It's another day in the practice room, Sejun's breaths coming hard and fast as he lays on his back.

Yet he's scrambling off the floor in a flash when he hears a familiar FaceTime ringtone coming from his phone.

"Hyung!" He greets with a smile as Seungwoo's face pops up on the screen.

"Sejunie," Seungwoo says fondly, and Sejun's heart clenches almost painfully.

"Are you practicing? Have you eaten?" Seungwoo asks, worry filling his voice, and Sejun really wants to cry now.

"Hanse stopped by earlier to drop off a salad for me," Sejun informs his leader with a smile.

Seungwoo tsks. "You should eat more, Sejun-ah. You're always in the practice room these days."

"Take your own advice hyung. You've lost so much weight," Sejun says, shoving his face closer to the screen in an attempt to see Seungwoo better.

Seungwoo laughs, that ugly, out of breath wheeze that Sejun loves so much, and they settle into a comfortable silence.

Seungwoo looks tired. Happy, but tired. Sejun understands -- X1's schedule is insane, and he has to keep up with 10 kids, not counting Victon. He's just about to ask Seungwoo if his knee has been bothering him when Seungwoo interrupts him.

"I talked to Chan earlier," he starts, cautious, and Sejun groans.

"Don't listen to anything he tells you."

Seungwoo chuckles, and his eyes are teasing. "So Byungchan..."

"Hyung!" Sejun whines, and he hears Seungwoo's guffaw even without having to look.

"Just talk to him," Seungwoo advises once he's calmed down.

"You and Chan hyung are no help," Sejun pouts, but he still sneaks peeks at Seungwoo, mostly because bad advice is better than no advice and a Seungwoo through the screen is better than no Seungwoo at all.

"He'll come around," Seungwoo tells him, confident and sure, and who is Sejun to argue?

"Talk to you soon. And I love you," Seungwoo tells him as they say their goodbyes.

He's been doing that a lot -- expressing his love in words. Probably because he can't express it anymore in hugs and cuddles like he used to, but Sejun tries not to think about that.

He smiles softly. "Love you too hyung."

He's in the middle of a discussion with Chan about a particular dance move that's been giving him trouble in practice when Byungchan walks in, all smiles.

Sejun and Chan knock heads as they look up from the phone they had been hunched over, trying to decipher the origin of Sejun's mistake from a playback video of his rehearsal. Chan laughs sheepishly as Sejun whines loudly and shoves him slightly on the shoulder.

When Sejun glances up at Byungchan, the smile is gone, replaced by a scowl and a look in his eyes that Sejun doesn't quite know how to decipher.

"There's leftover food in the fridge," Sejun says into the silence. He's suddenly fidgeting, his knee bouncing up and down and his phone nearly slipping out of his fumbling hands.

"Sejun saved it just for you," Chan tries, noticing his discomfort and placing a steady hand on his knee.

Byungchan stares. He stares for so long that Sejun wants to look away, but he wills himself not to. He holds onto the shared gaze like he holds onto hope -- hope that Byungchan will take the first step, hope that they'll go back to the way they used to be.

But Byungchan glances away, and Sejun feels that hope shatter into tiny pieces that stab into his heart.

"I'm not hungry. But thanks," Byungchan mumbles before shuffling into their room and shutting the door behind him.

Sejun deflates, and Chan can do nothing other than offer an arm around his shoulder.

"You guys will be fine," he says.

Sejun hears the confidence in Chan's voice and nods, trying to swallow the shattered bits of his heart.

Seungwoo's and Byungchan's absences made Sejun's role as the middle child even more prominent. Sometimes he associated with Seungsik and Chan as the hyung line, and other times he preferred to stick with Hanse and Subin as the maknae line.

"I'll beat him up," Subin tells him during one such maknae line hangout. "Do you want me to? Because I can."

They're in Hanse's and Subin's room, somehow all three of them piled onto Subin's bed.

Hanse coos, as if Subin has just said the cutest thing.

And he kind of has. It brings a smile to Sejun's face just imagining 175cm Subin trying to fight 185cm Byungchan.

"Thanks Subin-ah," Sejun says warmly, even though they all know Subin would never actually hurt Byungchan. Anyone else and he would have a flying fist to their face for Sejun, but Subin wouldn't hurt any of the members. They love each other too much.

"I can steal his clothes from the shower so he can't come out and then you can go in to confront him!" Hanse suggests, sitting up in his excitement and elbowing a grumbling Subin in the rib.

Sejun looks him dead in the eye. "Hanse. In what world would I want to be locked in the bathroom with a naked Byungchan?"

Hanse returns his stare. "Probably in all of your fantasies."

Sejun shrieks loudly as Hanse cackles and jumps off the bed to run away.

Sejun immediately gives chase. "Don't dirty our Subin's mind, you pervert!"

Chan is lured out of his room by the noises and Hanse yells at him to stop Sejun's advances. Chan, in his extremely confused state, complies, and Sejun finds himself trying to wrestle out of Chan's arms.

"Hyung, let me go! Hanse is trying to pollute Subin's mind with dirty thoughts! He's thinking weird things and--"

Chan lets go suddenly, and Sejun, still thrashing, stumbles out of Chan's hold and into something else.

Someone else.

Byungchan's chest is sturdier than Sejun remembers and his shoulders wider than Sejun remembers. Yet the arms that go around him are safe and familiar, and Sejun clings onto that feeling of warmth.

But it's gone as soon as it was there, and Sejun is left feeling cold and lonely.

"Sorry for interrupting," Byungchan says harshly, turning around to leave.

Sejun can't move, frozen in spot by the coldness in Byungchan's eyes.

He only snaps out of his trance when he feels a nudge, turning around to see Chan nod toward Byungchan's retreating figure as Seungsik magically appears and pulls Hanse and Subin out the door.

"Talk to him," Chan advises before grabbing four jackets and following the others out of the apartment.

Byungchan is almost to their room when Sejun grabs his arm. "Wait."

When Byungchan turns around to look at him, Sejun sees that the previous coldness has dissipated, instead replaced by hurt and upset.

"What?"

There's so much that Sejun wants to say, so much that he wants to tell Byungchan, but he settles on the most important thing.

"I miss you."

Byungchan freezes, and Sejun sees something else light his eyes, something akin to...longing?

But then Byungchan scoffs and tries to break away. "Miss me? You've already replaced me with Chan hyung."

At this, Sejun drops Byungchan's arm in shock. Byungchan glances at him, almost in disappointment, before continuing into the room.

"That's supposed to be my line!" Sejun yells, and he's suddenly grateful that the others are out of the apartment so they don't have to witness this.

"What?" Byungchan's eyes are full of confusion.

Sejun stalks up to him and jabs an angry finger in his chest. "You're the one who made new friends! You're the one going out every day! You're the one...you're the one who thinks I'm not good enough for you anymore."

He whispers the last part, his finger falling weakly to his side as his gaze also drops.

"You know what, never...never mind. I'm just going to--" He does an awkward shuffle to try to leave the room.

"You've always been too good for me, hyung," Byungchan says, so quietly that Sejun nearly misses it.

Sejun clenches his fists as he closes his eyes. "That's not true."

When he opens his eyes again, he sees Byungchan observing him with a curious expression.

"You've always been better at singing, at dancing. You're better at helping the hyungs and you're better at playing with the dongsaengs. You don't take yourself too seriously and you set the mood in any room. You're fun and you're funny. You're...you're amazing." Byungchan pauses. "And you don't even seem to realize it."

Sejun, true to Byungchan's last words, lets out a disbelieving scoff. He'd be flattered, except... "Why have you been using every opportunity to stay away from me then?"

Byungchan looks at him, almost incredulously. "Hyung, I'm in love with you."

Sejun startles, his eyes flying up to meet Byungchan's. He laughs nervously. "Is this a joke?"

Byungchan's hands are almost as gentle as his eyes when they reach for Sejun. "Hyung, I think I've been in love with you since you stepped foot in the company."

Breathing is becoming hard for Sejun as his throat closes up and his heart threatens to jump out of his chest. "Byungchan, I--"

He gets cut off.

"They told us that a fairy walked into the audition," Byungchan tells him, sliding a finger across his cheek as Sejun tries not to shiver.

"Me and Seungwoo hyung, Seungsik hyung, and Chan hyung immediately snuck out of practice to take a peek," Byungchan recalls with a soft smile that has Sejun leaning unconsciously into his touch.

"They were right," Byungchan muses, pulling Sejun closer. "Except you weren't just beautiful, you also had the voice of an angel. Everyone else sang one half-assed song, and you come in with two perfectly prepared songs."

"You blew us away, and," Byungchan's eyes are steady and serious even as Sejun feels the clamminess of his hands through his shirt. "And I'm pretty sure I've been in love with you ever since."

Sejun still feels like he's in a dream, so he focuses on the spark in Byungchan's eyes and the warmth of his arms. He reaches up to poke a finger into one of Byungchan's dimples and watches it sink deeper and -- it's real. This is really happening.

"Me too," he whispers, which is underwhelming and not at all enough to convey anything he's feeling, but it's all he can get out right now and Byungchan's smile tells him that he understands.

He's always understood.

"I went on Produce to bring more attention to Victon. Because more people should know about us -- about you. Hyung, you're too good for people to not know about you."

Sejun makes a noise of protest in his throat, and Byungchan smiles, as if he had been expecting that exact reaction.

"I went on Produce to improve myself. To catch up to you. Because you excel in everything and I'm left trying not to fall behind. I needed to be better."

Sejun is shaking his head, his fingers gripping the end of Byungchan's shirt so tightly that it stretches the soft fabric. "That's not true. How could you think that? You've always been enough -- more than enough."

Byungchan hums appreciatively. "Hyung, you weren't replaced. I just needed some time to be away from the inside jokes that accumulated between you guys in the months I was gone."

Sejun is immediately horrified. "We didn't...I mean, we--"

Byungchan laughs, and Sejun glances up. "You're cute when you're flustered."

Sejun relaxes.

"I know. I also know that you guys tried hard not to disturb me and Seungwoo hyung when we came back during filming. I appreciated that. I wish I was able to talk to you more during that time, but just coming back to your presence was enough -- I knew I was coming home."

Sejun is silent for a while.

"What are you thinking about?" Byungchan asks, booping him slightly on the nose.

Sejun shakes his head, snuggling closer. "Nothing. I just can't believe that my unrequited crush isn't quite so unrequited after all."

Byungchan gives him a knowing look. "Me too."

Sejun suddenly pulls away, frantic. "Wait, you weren't replaced either. Chan hyung was just helping with--" He struggles to find words. "With my constipated feelings, I guess."

Byungchan laughs. "Constipated feelings? I can relate. I think Jinhyuk hyung, Sejin hyung, and Minkyu are going to kick me out of the group if I don't shut up about you."

Sejun squeaks. "You--you talk to them about me?"

Byungchan giggles shyly. "I do."

"Do...do they like me?"

Byungchan smiles. "They'll be so excited to meet my boyfriend."

The word makes both of them stumble a little, but Byungchan's looking at him like he doesn't know if it's okay and Sejun needs him to know that it is, so he leans up and presses a fleeting kiss on Byungchan's lips.

It's Sejun's turn to look nervous now, and he keeps his eyes trained on the small mole that is visible on Byungchan's neck because it is small and cute and it reminds him of Byungchan, but not too much because that would make him remember the predicament they are in right now and that would be bad because oh my god it's so awkward and he doesn't know what to--

Sejun gasps as Byungchan ducks down to kiss him -- this time properly. It's chaste and hesitant and full of nerves, but it's still a kiss nevertheless, and it makes Sejun dizzy with happiness.

He wraps his arms around Byungchan's waist and rests his cheek against the warmth of his neck. "Thank you for what you've done for Victon. Thank you for what you've done for me." He looks up. "I'm so proud of you."

Byungchan's cheeks flush, and it's the prettiest thing Sejun has ever seen.

He stands on his tip-toes and presses a kiss on Byungchan's cheek, staying put until he feels it sink into that little dimple he loves so much. Byungchan giggles, and Sejun can't help it -- he kisses Byungchan again.

Because Byungchan is beautiful, because he wants to, and mostly because, all of a sudden, he can.

"This is...strange," Byungchan admits, his eyes sparkling.

"So strange," Sejun agrees, even as he wraps his arms around Byungchan's neck and slots their lips together for a proper kiss.

"Who do you think is going to be the most surprised?" Byungchan asks a little later. They're on the couch, Sejun's head rested on Byungchan's lap as Byungchan plays with his hair.

Sejun snorts. "Nobody."

Byungchan chuckles in agreement. "I can't wait to tell them."

Sejun looks up. "Who else knows?" His eyes narrow. "Did you tell the entire Produce X 101 village?"

Byungchan's eyes widen and he starts to frantically shake his head. "No! Of course not! I only told--"

Sejun reaches up and grabs Byungchan's collar to pull him down for a kiss.

Byungchan startles, but only for a second before he shifts his head so their lips can fit better. He brings a hand to Sejun's face, stroking softly as Sejun smiles into the kiss.

"What should I do?" Sejun whispers lightly against his lips.

"About what?" Byungchan asks back, his free hand reaching down to find Sejun's to tangle them together.

"I think I'm already addicted to kissing you," Sejun admits, his cheeks rosy as his eyes flit up shyly to meet Byungchan's.

The giggle that Byungchan lets out is soft and airy and so so so pretty that Sejun can't help but reach up and leave a small kiss on the tip of his nose.

Byungchan shifts the both of them so that they're lying down, cuddling on the couch.

"They're going to come back soon," Sejun protests, even as he snuggles closer into Byungchan's warmth.

"Who?" Byungchan asks, as if they're the only two people in the world.

In that moment, they are.

So Sejun wraps his arms tighter around Byungchan and Byungchan plants a kiss on Sejun's forehead.

They're making up for lost time, savoring the present, and getting ready for the time to come.

(They're still there an hour later, when the kids come back. Hanse shrieks and falls to the ground dramatically, Seungsik covers Subin's eyes even as he gives Sejun a mom's nod of approval, and Chan just rolls his eyes -- it's about goddamn time.)

**Author's Note:**

> I love writing annoying-Hanse.
> 
> Congrats to Victon on their first concert ♥


End file.
